Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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