I just threw up on my dentist
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
