ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
