Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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