i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
