Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
