Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My feet surprised me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
