he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
