STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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