i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
