Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
