If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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