I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
