I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
