I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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