It's Friday. Sex?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
