I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
