I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
