Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
