What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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