i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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