Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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