did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Randomize
