you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The adults are the big ones right?
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