Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
