Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
