Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
