If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
