Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
