when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Randomize
