i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
