It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
