States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
