have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
