We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
