yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
