why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
