weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
