Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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