Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
