I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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