I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
