I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
