oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I know her cup size but not her name....
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