why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
