Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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