I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
