so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This baby is an asshole
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
