butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
