...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We had sex on a dog bed..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
