to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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