apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
