Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
